at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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