Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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