well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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