I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
