Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
