Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
