We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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