i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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