I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
