Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
