mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
