is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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