I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
