I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
