remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
