if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
3pm strippers are depressing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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