You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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