Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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