You're completely useless in the revolution.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
