Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
