Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
