i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
