so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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