If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
