the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
