I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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