no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
