if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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