Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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