either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
