I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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