uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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