My hand turned me down
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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