I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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