I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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