you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
