Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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