she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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