I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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