She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
