I hate all girls vehemently.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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