I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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