Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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