OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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