I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
