I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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