do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
