I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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