Betty ford says i'm here all night
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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