I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
