me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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