will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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