I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
