She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
