Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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